So about 6 months ago Amber was diagnosed with ADHD. It wasn't
something I ever made a real announcement about because in all
honesty I didn't want to hear anyone's shit about our decision to put
her on medication. I know people have strong opinions on the
issue as well as beliefs on what is the "right" thing to
do, and I didn't feel that it was something I needed to defend.
All that being said I wanted to share our experience.
A bit of history. Since Amber was born she has always exhibited certain things that I noticed a lot of of children didn't. She was never a good sleeper, didn't start sleeping through the night until she was a year old. Naps never did quite take hold and ended all together when she was only about 3. When I would take her for an illness/check up that required shots doctor would always say she'd be very tired, in some instances a certain med should have made her sleep for hours, but Amber was never phased. If I ever needed to give her Benadryl it would have the opposite side effect that most people experience, it would hype her up. She never was interested in sitting down to watch cartoons, always wanted to be doing something outside or play of some kind. None of this was any reason for me to think anything, after all, who wouldn’t want a child who loved to play, entertained herself, and didn't want to watch TV?
Fast forward 5 years and she started school. I started noticing it took her MUCH longer to grasp the information, but at the pre-k level the teacher nor I were concerned as that age tends to have that problem since it's all so new to them. We have been very blessed with all the teachers she's had to date. Wonderful teachers and Amber has, without fail, maintained the status of teachers pet every year. Behavior has never been an issue for her, always the first to offer help, very kind and pleasing, never been in trouble, so in her early teachers eyes she was the perfect student who just had to work a bit harder for her grades.
1st grade came and her struggles became a bit more apparent. She was struggling with reading and math so she was put in in-school tutoring which gives kids extra attention in their weak areas. Still none of this made me think much because she was so determined that even though it took her longer and she had to work much harder, her grades were never impacted. However, the tests they give throughout the year to basically show whether the child is ready to move up a grade had us concerned. Her scores we all over the place! On the chart you should see an upward improvement or an overall drop, but Amber's was a roller coaster, up down, up down. I scheduled a meeting with the Interventionist at her school (Someone who is watching the childrens progress and make a recommendation for holding a child back). As any parent, I knew what my child was capable of and no matter what the tests said I knew she could do the work I just couldn’t' figure out why she couldn’t do it all the time. We sat down with her homeroom teacher, reading teacher, and the interventionist and luckily her teachers backed me in everything I said. They agreed that Amber was more then capable and was very bright, but just couldn’t get her to follow through with any sort of consistency. We all felt a sense of urgency as she would be switching schools when going into 2nd grade and the difficulty level was just going to increase. We all agreed Summer school would give her the edge she needed to be successful. So for a month before beginning 2nd grade she begin Summer school. Her confidence went through the roof and I felt we finally had a leg up. 2nd grade went really well. She still had to work a bit harder, but with her determination it seemed we had her on the right track and her grades showed that. We kept her in in-school tutoring and put her in after-school tutoring so as to not give her the chance to fall behind.
Then 3rd grade came and, Wow, we had a problem. She was getting headaches almost everyday, HATED reading, came home frustrated on a regular basis. It got to the point that no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't keep up. This is the point that as a Mother I knew something was just not right. How could this child who is so smart be failing, literally. Her teacher (AKA: The most amazing teacher EVER!) immediately saw a problem within the first month of school. We had a meeting and she told me things that I didn't know were happening. Amber couldn't transfer work from the board onto her paper and it be the same, when doing math problems she would get an answer that was so far off that Ms. PJ (teacher) would ask her how she got that and found that Amber was pulling numbers from all over the page and getting this made up question right, but obviously get the actual question wrong. As a teacher of 30 + years she couldn't quite put her finger on the problem but mentioned Dyslexia as a potential. Once I heard that I hit the ground running. Simply having a somewhat confirmation that I wasn't crazy and that my child has the ability but that something was going on, lit a fire under my ass like you wouldn't believe.
I immediately called her pediatrician to set up a Dyslexia screening, problem was, I couldn't get an appt for a month. Her teacher and I agreed we had to do something in the mean time or she would fail 3rd grade. I researched and read everything I could get my hands on, her teacher and I were in daily contact with ideas of what to try. This women went above and beyond for my baby. She stated on multiple occasions that it was her mission to ensure Amber passed. She would make it appoint to say in front of the class, "Amber, you are so smart." when she would see Amber struggling. She could see Amber slowly started to give up. Amber is a very bright child and extremely intuitive, she knew something was wrong and would ask why she couldn't do what the other kids were doing. Why she worked harder then all of them but couldn't do it. The worst word in my house is "stupid", it's never been allowed or tolerated in any form. The kids know how serious I am about it and will go as far as the call it the "S word" before they let it come out of their mouths. I knew Amber was breaking when she sat at the table doing homework one day and in the most angry voice you can imagine she yelled, "I'm so stupid." Talk about a kick to the gut...I broke down right there. No matter what I said to her in the moment I don't think she believed one word of it.
I couldn't do anymore then I was already doing to try and help her. Ms. PJ decided she wasn't going to wait on a diagnosis before she started doing more and requiring that Amber's reading teacher do the same. At this point we were further into the year and Ms. PJ had now been able to see more of the problem. I drop Amber off earlier then the rest of her class gets there so Ms. PJ started allowing Amber to correct missed problems in the mornings before the other students arrived....She would get every single question right, but the moment anyone came into the room she literally couldn't do the problems anymore. From that point on she began testing in a private room and the change was immediate, like night and day. Ms. PJ had already come to the conclusion that it was ADD and was treating her accordingly, but we still had to wait for the appt.
Finally it came (happened to be around report card time) and I went in with letters from all her teachers, printed off research I had done, everything I could think of to make certain we didn't leave there with nothing. He agreed that she needed further testing and provided and referral to a psychologist. I was on cloud nine, we were finally getting somewhere! The office calls to set it up and tells me it would be 2 months before I could get in. Apparently if kids get one bad report card many parents go straight to wanted them tested. So since our appt, that had been scheduled for a month, landed on report card week they were swamped. Wonderful...my child is now going to have to wait another 2 months before we can move on this. I explained that this was not just a bad report card, we needed her in before we passed the point of no return on this school year and wouldn't pass. They put me on the cancellation list and we crossed our fingers. It only took a couple weeks to get the call. One happy Momma!!
After a lengthy meeting with the Psychologist, 4 hours worth of written, verbal, and computer testing, along with paper interviews from her teachers and I, I left feeling like they got to see her problem at it's finest and I knew no matter what, they would be able to tell what the problem was. The next day they called and gave me the official diagnosis of ADHD and Anxiety. The ADHD confused me at first since Amber is not hyperactive or a "problem" child. He explained that ADHD is the only diagnosis, ADD just falls under the umbrella of that, so for diagnostic purposes it's still considered ADHD. Her teacher and I could have had a party we were so happy. No one wants anything ( no matter how minor) to be wrong with their child, but to know what it is and that it's treatable is thrilling.
Immediately I met with her pediatrician to discuss our options once he had reviewed the report. Because of all the other things we had attempted to do over the past 3 years, his recommendation was medication. Having now had gone to nursing school, I was very eerie of the meds used to treat ADHD. Sometimes having too much knowledge is a bad thing. We decided on Concerta. This is a once a day, extended release stimulant drug. Seems contradictory to be giving a child a stimulant when their brains are already excessively stimulated. Without getting too in depth on the patho of ADHD, it's basically an over production of certain neurotransmitters in the brain causing lack of focus, inability to sit still, etc. There lil minds are going a million miles a minute Try learning to do division when your mind is jumping all over the place...impossible. The stimulant drugs have the opposite effect on someone with ADHD then it does with someone without it. It slows the production and allows them to focus whereas in someone without ADHD it would hype them up, energize them, stimulate them. Which is why you hear about people who don't have it taking the drugs in order to get more done, or study for a big test. Very dangerous, so don't do it :)
After making adjustments to her dosages over the past 6 months we had a follow-up today. Amber has made HUGE progress. She has no side effects from the med other then trouble sleeping sometimes. She has raised her grades to all A's B's and one C. Mind you that C was an F before. Her teachers report that she has no trouble getting the information, has made the highest grade on tests on many occasions, has made her AR goal (reading a book then taking a test on it) with 100% every 8 weeks, finally getting to attend the AR parties that she never got to go to before. The child that HATED reading now asks me to buy her books, brings home chapter books and reads them in 2 days, does her homework without help, and helps her brother with his homework. More than anything else, her confidence is through the roof! Now when I tell her how smart she is, she believes me.
During the appt today her doctor sat back, looked at us and said that her progress is incredible. He said the goal of treatment for any child is to achieve what she has. There's a huge percentage of kids who don't respond to medication, I believe it's about 30%, and of those who do many have horrible side effects or are like zombies. The fact that Amber has been taking this for 6 months and has no change is who she is, but has only helped her where she needed it, is an answer to prayer.
ADHD is a very real disease, a lifelong disease that requires management in the same way hypertension or diabetes does. No matter your opinion on it or it's treatment, it's undeniable the impact it and it's treatment has had on our lives. This is not even close to what many people have to deal with in terms of medical problems, but it is something my little girl will have to deal with for the rest of her life and that makes it very real to her.
She knows what she has and isn't even kind of embarrassed or ashamed. She owns it! She still has to go slower the some before she answers, but takes her time and gets it done. If someone says something to her about being slow she'll put them in their place. She'll say, "I have ADHD and it takes me longer!" She wakes up and takes her pill mostly without having me remind her. She feels the difference and knows it's helping. No more headaches, no more frustration. I've always called her my Sunshine Girl, and now she's brighter than ever!
A bit of history. Since Amber was born she has always exhibited certain things that I noticed a lot of of children didn't. She was never a good sleeper, didn't start sleeping through the night until she was a year old. Naps never did quite take hold and ended all together when she was only about 3. When I would take her for an illness/check up that required shots doctor would always say she'd be very tired, in some instances a certain med should have made her sleep for hours, but Amber was never phased. If I ever needed to give her Benadryl it would have the opposite side effect that most people experience, it would hype her up. She never was interested in sitting down to watch cartoons, always wanted to be doing something outside or play of some kind. None of this was any reason for me to think anything, after all, who wouldn’t want a child who loved to play, entertained herself, and didn't want to watch TV?
Fast forward 5 years and she started school. I started noticing it took her MUCH longer to grasp the information, but at the pre-k level the teacher nor I were concerned as that age tends to have that problem since it's all so new to them. We have been very blessed with all the teachers she's had to date. Wonderful teachers and Amber has, without fail, maintained the status of teachers pet every year. Behavior has never been an issue for her, always the first to offer help, very kind and pleasing, never been in trouble, so in her early teachers eyes she was the perfect student who just had to work a bit harder for her grades.
1st grade came and her struggles became a bit more apparent. She was struggling with reading and math so she was put in in-school tutoring which gives kids extra attention in their weak areas. Still none of this made me think much because she was so determined that even though it took her longer and she had to work much harder, her grades were never impacted. However, the tests they give throughout the year to basically show whether the child is ready to move up a grade had us concerned. Her scores we all over the place! On the chart you should see an upward improvement or an overall drop, but Amber's was a roller coaster, up down, up down. I scheduled a meeting with the Interventionist at her school (Someone who is watching the childrens progress and make a recommendation for holding a child back). As any parent, I knew what my child was capable of and no matter what the tests said I knew she could do the work I just couldn’t' figure out why she couldn’t do it all the time. We sat down with her homeroom teacher, reading teacher, and the interventionist and luckily her teachers backed me in everything I said. They agreed that Amber was more then capable and was very bright, but just couldn’t get her to follow through with any sort of consistency. We all felt a sense of urgency as she would be switching schools when going into 2nd grade and the difficulty level was just going to increase. We all agreed Summer school would give her the edge she needed to be successful. So for a month before beginning 2nd grade she begin Summer school. Her confidence went through the roof and I felt we finally had a leg up. 2nd grade went really well. She still had to work a bit harder, but with her determination it seemed we had her on the right track and her grades showed that. We kept her in in-school tutoring and put her in after-school tutoring so as to not give her the chance to fall behind.
Then 3rd grade came and, Wow, we had a problem. She was getting headaches almost everyday, HATED reading, came home frustrated on a regular basis. It got to the point that no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't keep up. This is the point that as a Mother I knew something was just not right. How could this child who is so smart be failing, literally. Her teacher (AKA: The most amazing teacher EVER!) immediately saw a problem within the first month of school. We had a meeting and she told me things that I didn't know were happening. Amber couldn't transfer work from the board onto her paper and it be the same, when doing math problems she would get an answer that was so far off that Ms. PJ (teacher) would ask her how she got that and found that Amber was pulling numbers from all over the page and getting this made up question right, but obviously get the actual question wrong. As a teacher of 30 + years she couldn't quite put her finger on the problem but mentioned Dyslexia as a potential. Once I heard that I hit the ground running. Simply having a somewhat confirmation that I wasn't crazy and that my child has the ability but that something was going on, lit a fire under my ass like you wouldn't believe.
I immediately called her pediatrician to set up a Dyslexia screening, problem was, I couldn't get an appt for a month. Her teacher and I agreed we had to do something in the mean time or she would fail 3rd grade. I researched and read everything I could get my hands on, her teacher and I were in daily contact with ideas of what to try. This women went above and beyond for my baby. She stated on multiple occasions that it was her mission to ensure Amber passed. She would make it appoint to say in front of the class, "Amber, you are so smart." when she would see Amber struggling. She could see Amber slowly started to give up. Amber is a very bright child and extremely intuitive, she knew something was wrong and would ask why she couldn't do what the other kids were doing. Why she worked harder then all of them but couldn't do it. The worst word in my house is "stupid", it's never been allowed or tolerated in any form. The kids know how serious I am about it and will go as far as the call it the "S word" before they let it come out of their mouths. I knew Amber was breaking when she sat at the table doing homework one day and in the most angry voice you can imagine she yelled, "I'm so stupid." Talk about a kick to the gut...I broke down right there. No matter what I said to her in the moment I don't think she believed one word of it.
I couldn't do anymore then I was already doing to try and help her. Ms. PJ decided she wasn't going to wait on a diagnosis before she started doing more and requiring that Amber's reading teacher do the same. At this point we were further into the year and Ms. PJ had now been able to see more of the problem. I drop Amber off earlier then the rest of her class gets there so Ms. PJ started allowing Amber to correct missed problems in the mornings before the other students arrived....She would get every single question right, but the moment anyone came into the room she literally couldn't do the problems anymore. From that point on she began testing in a private room and the change was immediate, like night and day. Ms. PJ had already come to the conclusion that it was ADD and was treating her accordingly, but we still had to wait for the appt.
Finally it came (happened to be around report card time) and I went in with letters from all her teachers, printed off research I had done, everything I could think of to make certain we didn't leave there with nothing. He agreed that she needed further testing and provided and referral to a psychologist. I was on cloud nine, we were finally getting somewhere! The office calls to set it up and tells me it would be 2 months before I could get in. Apparently if kids get one bad report card many parents go straight to wanted them tested. So since our appt, that had been scheduled for a month, landed on report card week they were swamped. Wonderful...my child is now going to have to wait another 2 months before we can move on this. I explained that this was not just a bad report card, we needed her in before we passed the point of no return on this school year and wouldn't pass. They put me on the cancellation list and we crossed our fingers. It only took a couple weeks to get the call. One happy Momma!!
After a lengthy meeting with the Psychologist, 4 hours worth of written, verbal, and computer testing, along with paper interviews from her teachers and I, I left feeling like they got to see her problem at it's finest and I knew no matter what, they would be able to tell what the problem was. The next day they called and gave me the official diagnosis of ADHD and Anxiety. The ADHD confused me at first since Amber is not hyperactive or a "problem" child. He explained that ADHD is the only diagnosis, ADD just falls under the umbrella of that, so for diagnostic purposes it's still considered ADHD. Her teacher and I could have had a party we were so happy. No one wants anything ( no matter how minor) to be wrong with their child, but to know what it is and that it's treatable is thrilling.
Immediately I met with her pediatrician to discuss our options once he had reviewed the report. Because of all the other things we had attempted to do over the past 3 years, his recommendation was medication. Having now had gone to nursing school, I was very eerie of the meds used to treat ADHD. Sometimes having too much knowledge is a bad thing. We decided on Concerta. This is a once a day, extended release stimulant drug. Seems contradictory to be giving a child a stimulant when their brains are already excessively stimulated. Without getting too in depth on the patho of ADHD, it's basically an over production of certain neurotransmitters in the brain causing lack of focus, inability to sit still, etc. There lil minds are going a million miles a minute Try learning to do division when your mind is jumping all over the place...impossible. The stimulant drugs have the opposite effect on someone with ADHD then it does with someone without it. It slows the production and allows them to focus whereas in someone without ADHD it would hype them up, energize them, stimulate them. Which is why you hear about people who don't have it taking the drugs in order to get more done, or study for a big test. Very dangerous, so don't do it :)
After making adjustments to her dosages over the past 6 months we had a follow-up today. Amber has made HUGE progress. She has no side effects from the med other then trouble sleeping sometimes. She has raised her grades to all A's B's and one C. Mind you that C was an F before. Her teachers report that she has no trouble getting the information, has made the highest grade on tests on many occasions, has made her AR goal (reading a book then taking a test on it) with 100% every 8 weeks, finally getting to attend the AR parties that she never got to go to before. The child that HATED reading now asks me to buy her books, brings home chapter books and reads them in 2 days, does her homework without help, and helps her brother with his homework. More than anything else, her confidence is through the roof! Now when I tell her how smart she is, she believes me.
During the appt today her doctor sat back, looked at us and said that her progress is incredible. He said the goal of treatment for any child is to achieve what she has. There's a huge percentage of kids who don't respond to medication, I believe it's about 30%, and of those who do many have horrible side effects or are like zombies. The fact that Amber has been taking this for 6 months and has no change is who she is, but has only helped her where she needed it, is an answer to prayer.
ADHD is a very real disease, a lifelong disease that requires management in the same way hypertension or diabetes does. No matter your opinion on it or it's treatment, it's undeniable the impact it and it's treatment has had on our lives. This is not even close to what many people have to deal with in terms of medical problems, but it is something my little girl will have to deal with for the rest of her life and that makes it very real to her.
She knows what she has and isn't even kind of embarrassed or ashamed. She owns it! She still has to go slower the some before she answers, but takes her time and gets it done. If someone says something to her about being slow she'll put them in their place. She'll say, "I have ADHD and it takes me longer!" She wakes up and takes her pill mostly without having me remind her. She feels the difference and knows it's helping. No more headaches, no more frustration. I've always called her my Sunshine Girl, and now she's brighter than ever!
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